Today I felt relief. It wasn't as humid this morning outside. I could actually be out and enjoy a walk or run. I did neither but sat outside and waited as the carpet cleaners did my carpets. As I write this now Im in a new coffee shop just taking it easy while the carpets dry. I'm torn today at the media and what is being said and not said. We have elected a man of color however the state of minds of the masses in our universe is still sick. The ease we lash out at what is different or even that which we can't understand is sad. I am at the crossroads of actually checking out on America. As a citizen I love the freedoms of my country and at the same time i liken my attitude to her/it as a teenager rebelling for the hell running blindly toward a tornadoe. I desire not to conversate about politics these days, religion or anything that is swirling around in our all day media transmissions. The negative bombardment of both sides is tiring, draining and futile. Those of us in the world but not of the world are left watching humainity continue to malign each other in words, physical volience and thought.
Race what is it really? Why are we so caught up in it. How many generations must die off before it is not a conversation used to impart fear or inferiority. What's the magic number to get world peace. Half the world population die off from nuclear aggression brought on by greed of the haves taking natural resources from those who can't defend against them. I don't know actually. What I know is my desire to live outdoors. I am seeking like minds who see the world in colors, full of love and life. I know what is not working. I desire to focus on what is working. People loving people in a color blind society. We do exist. You know many of us roam the planet doing "our thing" as we keep the lights on. Lightbears of the spirit just doing us and giving it all away. Its been a hot summer across the globe. No accident at all. I took shelter in the coffee shop wandering how did my people pick cotton from sun up to sun down in Louisiana. Hell the humidity alone would have driven me to believe my chances of living in the swamps with the alligators would be the best choice than back breaking tedious work of pulling cotton. Just saying. I pay homegage to them and the legacy I stand on.
These are my musing of a summer day in August and I can't go home. At the same time I'm so tired of being stuck in the house until the heat of the day gives way to less hot evening. It doesn't mean a reprieve from the humidity just the sun. But today this morning I breathed in fresh cool air. A change from the hot mugginess that seared my lungs. Sanity will come sooner for me than my country. I will bounce back as the heat subsides. By then my searches for a ticket to Belize will have paid off. By October I will be on a plane going to see what lightbears, humani make up the little island I'm going to be calling home. None of this makes sense. I don't know even how we got to this place of me moving to another country. Here we are and each time I say it will pass, maybe its just the heat, something, some voice in my head says, "no we are leaving. I need peace just peace." If any of this is making sense or seems practical let me know. Right now Im writing while in the throes of a full hot flash. I'm sure making any decision while going through "the change" is suspect. I can only hope my sanity will return once on the other side. What has any of this to do with my early rants. Nothing actually except I don't think America or the media, politicians are going throught menapuase so what is there excuse.
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