When I think of the things I am going through it boggles my mind. At 47 I'm at a place of transitional limbo in my life process. You know when you watch a movie and the scene is a person standing still and the camera pans all around showing the surroundings in that frame. The environment, the sounds, the close ups of people, the quiet noise in your head as well. It's a moment of taking a snapshot of your surroundings, seeing with clarity in an instant the least little thing/person that is the catalyst of everything. This is my experience for the past few months. A year of being still listening, watching my surroundings daily while the "change of life" occurs inside.Menopause is an event of my many emotions, physical actions as well as reactions. It is a woman's burden or celebration depending on your preparedness for it. It is life saying the ability to create life of another is coming to a close. It is an ending and beginning.
I wasn't ready. Mainly out of lack of knowledge. My mother had only begun when to go through this process when she died of breast cancer. I had aunts who talked about only when a flash or chill hit them.
I remember family members going through the "change" as they put it. They didn't explain. I didn't ask questions.
We see the women in our lives be it mothers, daughters, aunts even friends go from sounding sane and sure to complete midlife melt downs. At twenty-one I watched my auntie cry for fifteen minutes for no reason other than to say she was going through menopause. I squirmed in my chair not saying anything uncomfortable desiring for her to stop crying, exasperated that I didn't get what she meant or was feeling.
What is normal when your body, mind and spirit is seeking to be born again? This is not metamorphosis of change that is taking place inside the comfortable cocoon of our mother's womb. It isn't in a dark place that allows for quiet comfort to change grow and come into the physical plane of existence. This is out in the open where all six senses are firing at alarming rates. It is in public view. at work when you are talking to someone and sweat drips from your forehead like the you just ran the New York Marathon you are consciously aware of people staring at your forehead.
What is normal when your body, mind and spirit is seeking to be born again? This is not metamorphosis of change that is taking place inside the comfortable cocoon of our mother's womb. It isn't in a dark place that allows for quiet comfort to change grow and come into the physical plane of existence. This is out in the open where all six senses are firing at alarming rates. It is in public view. at work when you are talking to someone and sweat drips from your forehead like the you just ran the New York Marathon you are consciously aware of people staring at your forehead.
You/I can't put your finger on it at first. Then it happens your first hot flash or night sweat. Your energy is not what it use to be. At times apathy can define your day. It's many things and then none. For some it can be just one day you woke up and notice you hadn't had a menstrual cycle for a year. Clarity came in that moment and you never looked back. I call you the blessed ones.
Some of us are prepared and did there homework. I'm learning about what you eat and drink to minimize the effects of sweats, I know now exercise is important to for me getting a great nights of sleep. This is due to being going out to get the answers. However I believe today where we focus on teaching birth control, transmittal of STD's, (sexually transmitted diseases) the conversation about an important part of change in a woman's life is still in the closet.
I didn't get this conversation growing up. My mother and I didn't have this sit down talk about what to expect, feel or even explain what a hot flash is?
Some of us are prepared and did there homework. I'm learning about what you eat and drink to minimize the effects of sweats, I know now exercise is important to for me getting a great nights of sleep. This is due to being going out to get the answers. However I believe today where we focus on teaching birth control, transmittal of STD's, (sexually transmitted diseases) the conversation about an important part of change in a woman's life is still in the closet.
I didn't get this conversation growing up. My mother and I didn't have this sit down talk about what to expect, feel or even explain what a hot flash is?
I have a friend Rossetta who calls these symptoms urban myths. I believe Rosetta hasn't had a hot flash where sweat is dripping like rain from your forehead while one is giving a presentation to about 40 people. I know she means well and I actually get where she is coming from. She is addressing the collective conscious to change our conversation about menopause to have it be an experience to welcome not dread. It starts however with explaining to our daughters, nieces of what is to come. It is a collective conversation to that this is going to happen to you. You see I never thought it would happen to me. Mainly due to the fact it wasn't put in language I understood until now. My doctor is great in explaining it all. She has the patience as well as the medical knowledge to explain what I can expect next. With this knowledge I am making choices about my bodies continued evolution of change. I know to eat different and to accept the fact that fall, winter are becoming more of my favorite times of year.
We have four seasons of weather. As a woman I find the seasons of my life's changes are welcomed challenges.
We have four seasons of weather. As a woman I find the seasons of my life's changes are welcomed challenges.
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